#25 I got 99 problems all created by Sarah J Mass

Hey everyone,

I am completely and irrevocably broken by what I have just witnessed.

The end of Empire of Storms has left me a complete blubbering mess.

My boyfriend even had to endure a phone call of me repeating over and over- between sobs- “I am not okay. Is she even allowed to do that?!” She being Sarah J Mass aka the creator of my tears and nightmares.

I do not want to deliberately spoil anything, but knowing my tendancies, I have been known to spill something just like,”why, Lorcan? Why!”

I know it’s not the end of the series yet and thank ‘wyrd’ for that because this book is one where I just know that I will be wondering around in the abyss of my mind searching for absolutely anything to fill the whole in my aching heart once this series is over- yeah, I’m a book nerd, didn’t you know? So I will probably just reread the entire thing until I can accept what the heck just happened!

Aelin (Celeana) is a freaking legend. I cannot put into words how brilliant and smart and badass she is. I find it quite easy to dislike female protagonists sometimes- at least elements of them, especially if they are tied to a love triangle/square as is often the case. Mass has done an incredible job in creating Aelin because I definitely want to be her and not just for her gorgeous fae mate 😉

There is a huge amount of romance/steaminess in the fifth instalment as well- Mass really went to town in creating new ways to tell us: ‘and they had sex.’ Many writers cringe away from the topic but Mass embraces every detail of the intimacies between all of the couples in this book- trust me, there are many.

I also love the developments in characters like Manon, Fenrys and I will begrudgingly say Lorcan…

Aelin, in this book, pretty much proves to every one a hundred times over that she deserves to be queen, and although I understand why Darrow issued the stupid decree for her to stay away, if my girl is not sat on that throne by the seventh book- she’s making us wait until Autumn… I am going to go all Celeana Sardothien on Mass’s ass!

But before I go too far and start talking about Aelin, Aedion and Rowan like they’re all my best friends (I wish) as my boyfriend jokes I have been doing for the past five books, I will just tell you that this is a series that deserves to be read by everyone- including you!

Now please excuse me while I go and reread Empire of Storms until I cry myself into oblivion and am ready to accept the ending.

This post is a call out to any of you out there who feel my pain of a heart shattering to a thousand pieces- I need y’all to discuss this with me, so drop a comment if you have even the slightest inkling of what I am droning on about!

PSL x

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#24 Characters that make me warm inside

Hey everyone, I hope you have had a fabulous weekend- I began it by getting drunk and laughing my ass off at my friend falling over (also drunk), so that has been fun.

I haven’t done a book post in a few months because I have been completely in love, betrayed, and stabbed multiple times by Aelin’s sass, Chaol’s stupidity, and Rowan’s damn right hotness in, yep you guessed it, Throne of Glass.

This is a YA fantasy novel by Sarah. J. Mass, and I am in love. My friends have heard nothing but updates about the recent chapter that I read for the past three months. I cannot remember a time when I was more invested in a book and its characters and its world- damn, I am even in love with some of the bad guys (Keep and eye out for Lorcan and Manon!).

However, as I am still reading this- more like, hurtling towards the end of the series when I don’t ever want it to end- I will not write a full blog post about it and thought instead that I would tell you three of my all time favourite book characters.

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First is Theodore Finch from the book ‘All the Bright Places’ by Jenifer Niven. In a basic sense, Finch is a suicidal teen who has many existential crisis’s. But everything the character does and says is so insightful, kind of like Augustus Waters from ‘The Fault in our Stars.’

The book is simple, lovely, and upsetting. I even named my build-a-bear after Finch!

Number two is Lacey Flint who is the protagonist in my favourite murder mystery books by Sharon Bolton. This is a series which really gets under your skin and make you feel like someone is constantly watching you. I read the books out of order (not realising it was a series), so I read ‘Dead Scared’ when I was thirteen and trust me, it is not a book for young people!

Anyway, Lacey Flint is brilliant because she is the right amount of ‘what have I just gotten myself into, this is crazy’ and ‘yeah I can totally go into this abandoned warehouse alone with a killer possibly inside.’

Of course, the chemistry with a certain Mark Joesbury is also to die for, but Lacey is a brilliant and completely real character who suffers a lot throughout the books, but somehow keeps going.

My third choice was very difficult because I wanted to name all of the Throne of Glass characters, but I have already said that I won’t write about that until I have finished them. So it was a tie between Emily from ‘Since you have been gone’ for being a slightly boring and simple teen character that I could completely relate to, and Rudy Steiner from ‘The Book Thief.’

All of these are definitely books that I would recommend to anybody. Two of which are just teen fiction and then the most amazing murder mysteries you will ever read, to a brilliant historical fiction.

I hope you all have have a good week, and those of you going into exams- Good Luck!

PSL x

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#23 Letting in some LIGHT

Hello all, I hope that you’re having a marvellous weekend and enjoying the sunshine!

It has been the case over the past few weeks that by this time on a Sunday I feel mentally and physically drained. This is because I go to college from half six in the morning until four/five everyday and then have been made to work both days of the weekend. For the past three weeks I have not had one day to myself.

Unsurprisingly, this took a major toll on my mentality and happiness because I really do not like the college I go to as they make zero effort in helping students, or even trying to do a good job in teaching us…  but that is a story for another day. And then I would be on 3pm until finish shifts which often means I do not get home until gone midnight (1am last weekend).

Last Sunday was the first day I have had off and I had a list of things (I absolutely adore lists, don’t you?) that I wanted to get done before going to college. The first thing was to try and sort my accomodation for university which was so stressful and the site locked me out, telling me I could no longer apply, so I got really stressed. I know computers and all that jazz are supposedly making our lives better but I have a great-grandparent sized tolerance to these evil devils. Unless I am simply typing in word or looking at clothes websites then you have completely lost me…

I went on to have a big breakdown (they are common at the moment), but I just knew that I couldn’t go on like it. I took the day off on monday and felt so much better for it. My mum and I worked through my list and although I wrote the most shocking essay of my life, I felt much happier and more relaxed. I even went for a swim, and then revised for three/four hours afterwards.

On that Monday, my mum also arranged for me to see a bereavement councillor because I have recently lost another Grandad and she wasn’t convinced that I was over the death of my Grandad who died before christmas last year. Which to tell you the truth, I am okay now, but I am not over it- I’m not sure I ever will. He was the first person that I was beyond close to to die in a finger snap, with no warning, nothing.

This councillor said to me that at the moment I am stuck inside a triangle consisting of my college and work life, my grief and my difficult relationship with my Dad. She told me that I am living in a dark area and used the metaphor of a flower bud; I needed to open up some more and let some light in.

“What do you do for fun?” She asked.

For the past two years, I have used the excuse that I will join clubs at University and I will get back into sport, into singing, into laughing and being carefree. So much so that I have completely forgotten to give myself a break now.

A levels have been so difficult (they’re not even over yet) and this has been made worse by how miserable I feel everyday when I am in college. I felt much better for giving myself that day off and I would not hesitate to do it again because I got so much more done yesterday than I ever would have done at college in a day.

So, my advice if you want to take anything away from this blog post is that if you need some time off then you take it- I do not mean taking a day off every time you feel tired after waking up. If you are mentally not prepared then don’t go because pushing yourself is not productive.

And finally, make sure you’re doing something for fun whether that is just something you do for half an hour to an hour just to calm yourself and separate from all the stress that is constantly around in our live at the moment.

I hope you enjoy your bank holiday weekend!

PSL x

#22 M.I.A

Hello everyone, I am really annoyed that I missed two weeks of posts, but I am back now and fingers crossed for good. I am really hoping to be someone that can give people in the years below me some tips for what to look for when doing your A-levels, learning to drive and applying for Uni because I am finding it all so stressful and wish that I could have somebody to explain it all to me!

The past two weeks have been filled with mock tests, disapointing results and teachers reminding me every second of the day that my exams are in three weeks…

So far today, I am just trying to figure out which hall to apply for at the Uni that I am going to in September. I thought this would be a ten minute job but haha, I am still sat here an hour later scouring the internet for any reviews on the different halls and which one might be the best for me.

I know this has been a very short post, but it was just to let you know that I haven’t gone anywhere- perhaps a slightly darker place as I emerge into the final month of my A levels.

Trying to sort accomodation has really annoyed and finished me for today, so I promise I will be back with some more exciting posts soon (most likely after my exams- wish me luck).

PSL x

#21 I passed!

Usually my first post of the month is something related to books, but this time I thought I would shake it up- I’m a rebel like that.

These last few days have been busy but so lovely. The sunshine has graced us and when it is warm(er), I just feel so much happier.

I kicked off the beginning of the week by going to see the one and only Sam Smith in concert- he was insane! I knew that it was going to be incredible, but I hadn’t grasped how incredible. His voice was clearly like no other, but where I thought he would be quite awkward on stage, he was the most genuine act I have ever seen. A few times I thought that he might burst into tears when he heard the arena of 16,000 people singing along with him to ‘Stay with me.’ And when ‘Writing on the wall’ came on…. Oh, just oh! My brother and I went crazy.

He also gave the backing singers their own song which I have never seen done before, and the pianist did an incredible piano solo while Sam went off for an outfit change and came back with that mindblowing Bond tune.

 

The next day, my cousin took us out for a day in the city (we are country dwellers- so we don’t get much time in the city). There was a piano set up in one of the quieter shopping centres and I surprised myself by giving it a go. It was for the Greatest Showman which you should all know by now after buying the soundtrack, piano sheet music, watching it twice in cinema and going to an outdoor cinema to see it- I am in love with that film. The sheet music for ‘This is Me’ was there and I couldn’t figure out one of the sharps so I played ‘Beauty and the Beast’ instead… close enough.

We then tried sushi, and my boyfriend and I have discovered that we’re not much for raw fish. It was a really cool experience though because it was a restaurant with a conveyer belt and we could just try anything (not aware of the cost at the end…).

 

And finally, to finish off my week, on Friday I had my driving test.

I was so nervous that I went without lunch because I thought that I would just throw it straight back up. The examiner was much more stoic than my first test and I think it made me drive quite badly because the car was quite jolty when it came to stopping and changing gears. I was also one of those one in ten unfortunate people who have to follow road signs, and I did not enjoy that one bit!

When it came to the end of the test, I was so prepared for it to be another fail because I thought I had passed my first and it had been such a bad drive in my mind.

Obviously, you saw the title of this post and I did pass but the man sounded so bored when he said it that I thought I might have misheard him.

When I got home I tried to pretend that I had failed because I was in such a state the first time, but the second that I saw my mum and boyfriend, my face broke into a massive grin.

Anyway, now the expense of fuel and insurance has begun, but it feels so amazing to be able to drive just for me and I had my very first drive alone today which was really fun; I spent the whole time with a grin on my face and saying ‘okay, okay, you can do this.’

Anyway that has been my Easter holidays so far, and I am completely behind on my revision because of it…

Hope that you have all had a wonderful week.

PSL x

#20 My Favourite look this Winter

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So although it is now officially Spring here in Britain, the weather certainly doesn’t seem to think so. Now, I am a total lizard who thrives in the heat and shuns those people who fan themselves with their hands moaning, “Ugh, it is too hot!” I apolagise if that applies to you, but seriously, we get about three weeks of perfect weather in this country- just let it be, please.

But anyway, as I was saying, I hate this below freezing, can’t decide whether it is going to snow, drizzle or chuck it down, weather that we Brits are currently facing.

Beast from the East? Please get lost.

However, this has pretty much been my go to outfit for college these past few weeks and I completely have Topshop to thank.

My student bank account can barely afford New Look at the best of times, so I barely glance in the direction of places like Topshop and River Island whenever I go to town. Surprisingly though, these past few weeks I have found some gems that are genuinely quite reasonable.

I am always struggling from a lack of tops and t-shirts, so this cute collection of slogan top were a must. I have bought six in total, and each are a block colour (mostly grey and black) have some cute writing on them:

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I pair them tucked into jeans or a skirt, and my gorgeous black and white coat which I have been in love with ever since I found it in a… wait for it…charity shop a few years ago! I do love a good bargain buy!

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This checkered baker boy hat is also from Topshop, and I was in love from the moment that I tried it on. I am definitely a hat person because I own at least six now however, I often don’t have the confidence to wear them, so I am hoping to just become a crazy hat person at University- I will make them my statement piece.

When I wore this hat into college, I felt really chic as if I was walking on the streets of Paris or New York, but also was called a train driver, a post man, and actually a compliment- a peaky blinder (I’d take on Tommy Shelby any day). I do really love it though and I vow to myself that I will wear it much more often in University.

If you like the look of these tops then follow this link to see some more of Topshops slogan t-shirts: http://www.topshop.com/en/tsuk/product/clothing-427/t-shirts-6864659/peachy-motif-t-shirt-7405108?bi=140&ps=20

And to find some of their baker boy hats: http://www.topshop.com/en/tsuk/product/checked-baker-boy-hat-7281204?bi=0&ps=20

I hope that you took something from this post, if it is just the fact that my aesthetic background is a muddy field then I can live with that…

Happy Easter everybody!

PSL x

#19 My Uni Adventure

So many big choices are made from the ages of 15 to 20. You decide what GCSE’s you want to take part in (German was my big mistake), and then you choose if you want to go to a college, sixth form or take an apprenticeship. And then in those two years you barely have time to take a breath before your next big decision: University?

In my final year at high school I developed a big fear of change and that has carried through with me into college, and let me tell you now; my college loves pushing everyone towards University. Before I thought that only a minority of people went and now I am beginning to realise the struggle to fight for places.

So everytime a teacher would talk about University, or we were forced to go to an assembly about it, I started to really freak out. I am not sure why, perhaps it was because I had a new boyfriend and I was scared about us going our seperate ways, or maybe I had only just that term settled into college and they were suddenly talking that big scary word:

Future.

Since then I have come quite far, I sometimes feel panicky and have to stop doing things like researching the clubs at the University I have chosen, or signing up for student loan the other day. But I have chosen which University I want to go to and I am really excited because they have offered me an unconditional place which is crazy!

Friends, colleagues and family have criticised me for going to Uni with my boyfriend.  You might too. In my state, he helped me look at Universities that would be good for me as well as both of us, and on one of the open days, I fell in love with Bangor.

I had never heard of it before, and it is tucked away the upmost corner of north Wales (the only downside is the weather…). I thought that I would prefer a city life, and clubbing every night, but after visiting some of the more busy Universities as well, I decided on this one.

It is picturesque and right by the coast. I am going to study history, and the university offered a huge floor to cieling humanities library as well as underground archives with newspapers dating back decades. Sorry history nerd coming through….

Silly as it sounds, I still get overwhelmed by the thought of moving almost four hours away from home, but I am so excited at the same time. I am worried about the expense and making good friends that will make my three years away from home worth it.

Clearly this adventure isn’t over just yet, so I think that I will make a sort of Uni series about my adventure over the next few years which may be helpful to some of you thinking of going to university as well. My advice to people just like me who do not welcome the idea of change is to sit down with somebody you trust, perhaps don’t even look at the computer screen. Just let them list the options, and if you don’t feel up to looking just yet then don’t force yourself.

I know looking back that I should have looked at some other Universities as well, but I am completely happy with the one that I have chosen and cannot wait to get started there- cue blowing all of the money I have worked for the last few years on cute stationary and dorm room decorations…

PSL x